By Kim Ali
If you had the CONFIDENCE to do whatever you wanted, what would you do?
Everyone loves to have confidence, but it is not easy to come by. Confidence means that we have high trust in ourselves. It helps us take steps towards our goals despite the uncertainty. It gives us courage, competence and self-trust. When we feel confident, it is easy for us to anticipate success.
Learn to be Confident
How do we build more confidence in ourselves? A great way to start is by focusing on having a better sense of self-worth and a better sense of purpose.
For a better sense of self-worth, start by showing compassion to yourself. Speak to yourself with kindness and patience. Try and minimize that negative self-talk that is makes you question yourself. Also refrain from comparing yourself to others.
For a high sense of purpose, a great way to start is to clearly define your values and what you want to do in life. Confidence then, merely becomes a choice to take steps to act in line with your values to reach your goals.
If you think you have to feel 100% confident before you do something, you are setting yourself up for failure through inaction. Don’t wait to magically become 100% confident before you start, do it despite the fear and the confidence WILL FOLLOW. Do make sure that you prepare yourself adequately for the task. Preparation is key for confidence and without it you will end up being overconfident.
Are you Confident or Over Confident?
While having confidence is important to navigate through life, over confidence can have a negative impact on your success. Let us look at the difference between the two:
|I am well-prepared, I have done enough homework||I am not well-prepared but it does not matter|
|I will learn from my mistakes||I am too perfect to make a mistake|
|If I don’t know I will ask and increase my knowledge||If I don’t know I will guess but not ask for help|
|I am willing to do the hard work and have patience||I will take shortcuts where possible|
Overconfidence is worse than being underconfident as there is a higher price to pay financially and emotionally through failure versus inaction. To overcome overconfidence, the best way is to seek guidance and advice instead of second-guessing. One should also be willing to take feedback post failure. Once over confidence has resulted in failure, it is easy to completely lose confidence and go into complete inaction. Your sense of self-worth gets horribly impacted. You need to reconnecting with your values to get back that sense of purpose that re-directs you on future path.
How Over Confidence set me up for Failure
Some years back I started a business and massively failed due to overconfidence. Why did I fail? Firstly, I lacked the expertise in that field and did not care to gain any kind of experience. Then, I did not take advice from anyone and just went ahead with it. I also did not think I could make a mistake. I failed miserably. The emotional toll it took on me prevented me from action for a couple of years until I decided to do it the right way and with patience. I decided to get the expertise in the area I wanted to specialize in and then start a business. I spent one whole year getting my certification and the right knowledge before I started my next business. I sought a lot of coaching and guidance. I hired myself a coach to help with my business. I know exactly what I am doing. Where I am uncertain, I will seek advice. If I fail, I will learn from my mistake and not give up. I am now confident and not over or under confident.
Confidence does not mean you won’t make mistakes, you will, but the mistakes won’t crush you. You will take the feedback and learn from it to do better next time. In doing that you will develop more confidence as well. Confidence will no longer be a wish and a longing but instead it will be with you as you move towards your path to success.
And that is what you will be doing when you have the confidence to do whatever you wanted. You will constantly be succeeding.
About the Author
Kim Ali is the founder and owner of Stellar Coaching. She is a member of the International Coaching Guild and a Certified Career Coach. She is also a Credentialed Practitioner of Life Coaching through The Coaching Institute Australia. Visit her website at Stellar Coaching.