By Zahra Abbas

The likelihood is that we have heard the term IQ growing up in our lives and most of us have succumbed to the idea that we won’t have an astounding or genius IQ that sets us apart from the rest.

The likelihood is also that we haven’t heard the term Emotional Quotient (EQ) or Emotional Intelligence growing up in our lives and therefore haven’t been given the opportunity to see how we can develop and utilise this in our day to day lives.

Emotional Intelligence and the amount of self-awareness we have around how our feelings become emotions and then reactions, forms the basis of EQ. The more aware we are of our emotions and the way we deal with situations, the better we can control and regulate our reactions.

So why do we need to learn and increase our EQ?

Tapping into our subconscious minddid you know we use around 10% of our conscious brain in new scenarios we are faced with every day? That means that around 90% of the way we behave and respond, is down to the thoughts, patterns, behaviours, feelings and emotions that are stored in our subconscious mind. If you have ever felt an overreaction to a situation and felt you could have handled it better, it will serve you to become more aware of these responses so that you can work on techniques to improve your emotional response. Just because it is a programmed response, does not mean it cannot be unlearnt and relearnt for a better outcome.

Patterns and behavioursthe more in touch we are with our emotions, the greater ability we have to control our responses. It helps to ensure that when triggered by people and situations, we don’t rise and overreact, we are better able to communicate and articulate our feelings without the need to be loud and angry. Anger does not serve us and can cause a whole host of problems within our relationships if not controlled appropriately.

Emotional Health – in this fast paced and technology driven world we need to be more in touch with our emotional side. There are triggers at the end of our fingertips every time we use social media and with face-to-face contact limited and relationships being maintained online, we have less of an ability to move away from what hurts us. By becoming more aware of our emotional response, we armour ourselves with the ability to protect our emotional wellbeing.

A happier selfThe majority of our social interactions are based on how we people please and the boundaries we maintain to protect our heart and health. When we have a low emotional intelligence, we are likely to display behaviours that aren’t true to our inner voice and serve others around us but not ourselves, in turn causing us pain and discomfort. To have a greater ability to be true to ourselves we need to have more awareness of what emotions serve us best.

About the Author

Zahra Abbas is an emotional intelligence coach working with women to stop people pleasing, create healthy boundaries and eliminate self-doubt. Zahra’s journey into emotional awareness began when she started looking into personal development as a means to gain confidence and authenticity in her personal, parenting and professional life. To contact Zahra please email to learn more about her 1:1 programme.