Today we will share the heart breaking story of Sumayya AbdulKhader on how she dealt with the grief of losing her infant. In her own words:
AsalamuAlaikum lovely ladies, my name is Sumayya and I love swimming, nature walks and long drives. I absolutely love travelling and vacations. I am a dessert lover and my favorite dishes are Biryani and pasta.
I came to Canada after my wedding, in 2008. Alhumdulillah, I’m a mom of three beautiful children. My daughter is 8 yrs old and my son is 5 yrs old. My firstborn is in Jannah by the will of Allah.
I’m a half dentist by education. I dropped out of college after getting married. As I had to pause my education, I started painting as a hobby, to keep myself busy. But with kids and their ongoing responsibilities, again, I had to pause my creativity. I packed up all my painting/crafting supplies to make space for all the baby stuff. Alhumdulillah, the blessings of being a mother are endless.
Almost ten years ago, we had our first baby. I still remember the anticipattion, excitement and the waiting of 9 months. Having a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby, I never knew what was in store for me just after 12 days of giving birth. My beautiful baby boy, Fauzaan, had a high fever on his 9th day. We rushed him to the ER. With his worsening condition, he was soon admitted at the hospital and later on shifted to the Sick Kids Hospital, downtown. He was diagnosed with meningitis, which was caused by a bacterial infection, and within 3 days, due to a multi organ failure, our beautiful baby went to jannah.
I was weak, I was tired, I was shattered. My Post Partum Depression took a toll. With the constant trips to the hospital, the exhaustion was at a different level. I couldn’t even walk properly in the long corridors of the hospitals. The first death I saw and the first Janazah I had to attend was my own son’s. I still remember the day when we came home after the janazah. I cried looking at the crib, the onesies, the blankets, bibs, all the brand new Stuff, which we never got to use. Whatever I Saw in the room reminded me of my baby. Although I had My In-laws, family and support here, my Husband suggested going back home to my parents, to rest and recover and heal with my siblings and family.
It was Tough. I pray that no one goes through this heart breaking grief of losing their beautiful baby. But, I realized It was like a wakeup call For me. I had never seen death so closely. It is a reality of life, We all know to be our best, to aim for jannah, Inshallah, but with all the distractions of the world, we sideline the realities. We forget. If you are someone who is going through tough situations like infant loss and miscarriage, please remember, it WILL become easy. At the time being it will look difficult, as of course nothing can fill that void. But continue to pray and try to understand that this is a test from Allah swt and we will succeed in it with patience and gratitude. Just have SABR.
This quarantine lock down is a perfect time for us to realize what is Important and what we need to focus on for a better life here and in the hereafter.
Anyhow, after years of me being a silent member, i became a moderator in late 2019, and i wanted to do my part in my community thus i joined MuslimMoms.Ca and am helping out with the content planning and posts.
This group has helped me for years! Whenever I had a problem, I saw people asking similar queries and hence despite being a silent member, my problems were all solved.
After years of procrastinating i found my true love, in art and creativity. Last year i started my own venture! I would encourage you as well, if you are delaying your passion due to any reason, don’t delay! Just take the first step and Allah will help you move along.
My favorite quote is “You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending – C.S.LEWIS.”
This is what made me take the first steps to whatever I have done up till now.
I Would Love to connect more with you Guys, My links are all here:
I’m on Instagram and Facebook as @thehuesofmylife
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