By Rahila Ovais

To My Future Son-in-law (And Daughter)

As I think of my daughter’s future, I can’t help but also think of the person who will be the man of her life.  From the day that she came into my life, I stare at her and think of how perfect she is to me. I stare at her and imagine her growing into a young adult and then I envision giving her away to you as your wife and accept you as my son-in-law.  I don’t know you yet, I don’t even know who you are right now or who my daughter will choose to be her life partner, but I hope and pray that you are a God fearing man and a practicing Muslim who will make my daughter a better Muslimah too.

She has been raised like a princess by her father and I and her upbringing might be somewhat similar but also very different than how things are done in your family.  So be kind to her and give her the time to adjust to her new life with you.  She has been daddy’s precious little princess in her home for 20 years or so and I hope that you will treat her as the queen of your house.  Your understanding will make it easier for both of you as you both define your own set of rules on how you want to do things together.  She is leaving her room, her house, her siblings and her friends to live with you. It will take her some time to learn how things are done in your house and to bond with your family; I hope that you will be patient with her during that time.

I hope that you will always be honest with her because without trust you will lose her. Even if it’s the little things or the little white lies that may seem harmless to you at the time.

She is leaving her life behind to start a new one with you, I hope that you both will respect your differences and celebrate the similarities together for many years to come.  She will be always on your side building your family home together with you and then raising your family with you, I hope you will treat her as an equal partner of your team.

Our daughter, your wife, will become the mother of your kids. I hope that you won’t let her lose her own identity in the process whether she choses to pursue her career or be a homemaker.  Always put her first because she will always put your needs before herself.

Forgive her often and whole-heartedly as she learns to manage your lives together. She will not always be perfect; she will burn dinner sometimes or forget there is no more milk in the house. Pick up the slack for her when she is over-whelmed. Trust me; she will be ever so grateful for your little acts of kindness.

Take the time to tell her how much she means to you.  While you both are trying to figure each other out, I hope that you will be over communicative with her so she can learn your likes and dislikes without guessing games.

You are your mother’s son and she will always be your mother.  Only you will have to find how to keep a balance between your mother and your wife.  I promise that my daughter will always respect your mother but I hope that you will always be on her side too and just be there for her even at times when you don’t have a solution.  Don’t compare her to your mother.

Dear son-in-love, take care of my daughter. As I give her hand into yours, I am giving you a piece of my heart with great trust and expectations. I pray that you both have a successful happy married life together.

About the Author:

Rahila Ovais is a Pharmacy Technician working at the Ontario College of Pharmacists. A mother to four, she’s called Jeddah, KSA, where she was born and Karachi, Pakistan, where she was brought up, her homes before moving to Toronto twenty years ago. She is also a very opinionated person who has a hard time keeping her thoughts to herself.

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