By: Khaula Mazhar

How about don’t? Have you not had enough fun with your first baby? Was 9 months of vomiting, nausea, swollen feet, back aches and the inability to breathe not enough? What about the all-nighters with baby number one wailing non-stop? Teething, tantrums, crayoned walls, dirty diapers, puked on shoulders…do I need to go on? Or did you just have one of those “Ooops!” moments? Ah well.

Preparing for baby number two:

1. Never throw out any item of apparel, no matter how shabby, from baby number one’s time. When you run out of all those nice new little onesies after the 26th leaked diaper/regurgitated milk soiling you will appreciate that you still have a pile of worn out onesies. Besides that, they are soft and perfect for baby number two’s delicate skin.

2. Don’t even think about buying those ridiculous baby toys. You should have learned by now that babies don’t play with toys. They play with things they can pull out of the lower kitchen cabinets. Including the garbage under the sink. Also sometimes what they find in the litter box. Do remove kitty’s litter box to a more secure location.

3. Do tell baby number one heartwarming stories about sibling love.

4. Do be prepared for baby number one to hate baby number two anyways.

5. Make sure to give baby number one plenty of attention, and be really patient with their sudden exemplified pain-in-the-buttness. They are about to have their kingdom overthrown, and they know it.

6. Do not try to be superwoman and have the house clean, dinner cooked on time and look good. No one sympathizes with that woman. Leave the place a mess and let the food burn at least twice a week. Don’t brush your hair or put on lipstick.  Do have on a little smudged eye liner. Break down in tears approximately six and a half minutes after your husband comes home from work on alternating days. While he tries to console you ask him to massage your shoulders and struggle to catch your breath between huge sobs. Talk a whole lot of gibberish between the sobs.  Put your feet up and relax as he worriedly washes dishes and orders take out. Do not feel guilty, this is all his fault in the first place. Remember smart woman, not super woman.

7. Sleep whenever baby number one does. You need all the naps you can get.

8. Make sure the crib doesn’t have any splinters from where baby number chewed off a chunk of railing while teething.

9. Buy a good supply of bibs, small towels and socks. Half of them will go missing by the second month of baby two’s entrance into the world.

10. Visit all your friends and family before baby two makes the grand entrance. You will not see them again for a very long time. Mention this to them every chance you get. They will feel the need to throw you a baby shower.

11. Act surprised at your surprise baby shower.

12. Relax. Breathe. You got this, second time around is a lot easier. Okay I am lying, it’s not. But stressing won’t help. Just roll with it mama.

About the Author: 

Khaula Mazhar, author of Mama Loves Me, has written for Dawn Pakistan and now bestows her wisdom upon the world at her blog. Last time she counted she had five kids, however the vast amount of laundry has given her doubts. This is a cause of constant distraction as she tries to finish writing the next NYT best-seller.