By Aruj Sipra

Dear Mom

My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.

― George Washington

It has been 19 years since your death and the hardest part till today is whenever I see someone appreciating their moms and I am no longer able to do that in a physical way. No matter what I do to move on from this pain, deep down I always know that I’ll never get to hug you again.

To be honest, there are times when I find myself ashamed at how I have let your memory fade; I no longer remember the sound of your voice.

They say: ‘Time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens, but it does not go away. As a daughter, I miss your protectiveness, encouragement, praise, warmth, and, as I grow older, the bond of an adult-to-adult friendship. There were special times in my life in when I felt your absence more: a wedding celebration and the birth of your grandchildren. This is when the wound gapes open again.

They say: ‘No one else is so uniquely important to the child as a mother who helps her to form an image of herself. With this self-image, a daughter is helped to determine how to interact with the world and the people in this world’. I agree; you have taught me how to be a good listener, to empathize, to support and appreciate all types of people

A mother’s job description can be put as someone willing to nurture, feed and protect while keeping the surrounding area clean and a peaceful environment 365 days a year. Just like a tree you always sheltered me from the harsh realities of life. I would always run towards you if I was in trouble and you would always protect me.  There is always a good and bad side of a picture of being protective. Either you become confident or stay a nincompoop all your life. It took me quite a while to become confident, all thanks to family and friends. If you were alive, you would have been happy to see that your not-so-confident child has turned into a confident lady

Mothers are the backbone of families. Words cannot be put down to express how important you have been to ours. After all, moms take on so much of the responsibility of raising kids and making the family thrive. Mom is the one who always knows what’s really going on in the family, she provides the bulk of nurturing, or she does more than her share of work required to keep a household together. We can understand this only when we become mothers ourselves.

There are some things that I need to tell you — things that I didn’t say when you were with us and lessons which I learned from you.

I love you. I always will. You taught me that the best way to love people was to be genuinely concerned in their well-being and to do things to help others.

I learned that you still have control in your life. Understanding you have control over your emotions and actions is the first step toward overcoming any obstacle. You may not be able to change everything that happens to you in life, but you can change how you react and behave in challenging situations and the direction you choose next.

I learned it’s never truly goodbye, only see you later. I know in my heart my mother will never be gone, even when I’m aging and playing with my grandchildren. As the one person in my life who is irreplaceable, I know she will always be there. So, it is not goodbye, just see you later — until next time.

dua for parents

“My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small.” [Quran; Surah Al-Isra, Verse 24]

About the author:

Aruj Sipra is the community manager at MuslimMoms.ca