The “H” Word, how to speak to your teen

By Mona Ismaeil

Teens with hijab

Image source: Salam Stock

 

The “H” Word!  What is the “H” word you ask? It is that word that many teen girls dread hearing as in their minds they believe it will turn their worlds upside down and turn them into someone they don’t know or want to know. It is that conversation that they might come up with every excuse they can in order to escape it. They may even offer to do chores to seem busy! It doesn’t have to be so bad, here are some tips for how to talk to your teen daughter about…HIJAB!

Why we wear hijab 

Nothing is worse for a teen than hearing “just because I told you so”. Teens are easily influence by the media and those around them that it is vital for them to hear the REAL reason we wear hijab or they may end up believing what they see on TV. By explaining to your daughter, that hijab is meant to protect her, and that it is a sign of modesty and respect for Allah (swt) as well as a sign of respect for herself, she should be more likely to wear it with pride or if she hasn’t put it on already, be more likely to want to.  Be sure to explain to her that wearing hijab is not just about covering your hair and body. It is a way of life. It is how she speaks to people, interacts with people and she MUST understand that she is an ambassador for her deen. She must understand that she is representing Islam and she is playing a very important role in the world for her Ummah. It is her personal Jihad. By explaining everything clearly for her, you will not only appeal to her, but also give her the tools to answer to anyone who may question her practice.

Hijab is not a hindrance

It is not uncommon for a teen or any woman at that, to believe that wearing hijab will hinder her ability to go out and participate in life. She may believe that she has to give it all up. Show her examples of women who did not allow their hijab to keep them from doing what they love to do like.  Muslim women show like weightlifter Kulsoom Abduallah or 2012 Summer Games female athletes swimmer Sabine Hazboun and runner Woroud Sawalha. If there is a specific sport she loves to do, then help her to make her hijab work with it.

How to “wear it well”

As you are out and about, if you see a sister who is really working her hijab well, make a conscious effort to point it out to your daughter. Although hijab is not a fashion, it can be fashionable. For a teen, her appearance and how others will perceive her weighs heavy on her mind so as a parent it is important for us to work with that.  Take time to look online for hijab blogs, and magazines. Watch a few tutorials on YouTube so she can see how to tie her hijab in many different ways and show an interest in which styles she feels she could make her own. I do my own tutorials on youtube; ModernMohajaba and I encourage new mohajaba sisters to try these new styles. It can be very overwhelming and intimidating in the beginning.

One step at a time

The idea of putting on a hijab and all that comes with it can be very scary. Wearing a hijab is a journey and we all find what feels right on our own. Give her the freedom to slowly improve how she wears her hijab. Perhaps that means she starts with ¾ sleeves and progresses to long sleeves. Maybe she starts with pants and long shirts and moves on to skirts and dresses.  Giving her guidance while giving her some freedom will show her that she needs to take ownership for her practice find her own way.

Self-expression

Hijab can be worn in so many ways and I truly believe you wear it best when you make it your own. If your daughter is a girly girl, then the colors, and accessories she wears should reflect that. Perhaps, your daughter has an artistic side. The hijab styles she chooses and how she pairs them with her clothes, should reflect that. Remind her that as long as she is modest her own personal and style, personality and her creativity can surely shine!

Remember: Allah is beautiful, and he loves beauty

About the author:

Mona Ismaeil is mother to a sweet little toddler, Owner at Modern Hejab  and a Blogger.

 

Do you have a teenage daughter on your hands? Would you want her to wear the hijab or talk to her about it? We’d love to hear from you. Share with us how you tackled the ‘H’ issue with your daughter.