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How Motherhood Changed Me

How motherhood changed me

Having my son, also my first-born, was my ultimate wake up call, literally and emotionally. The very next day son and I came from the hospital and I was an absolute post-partum hormonal mess, I cried and begged Ma for forgiveness. We were all bawling, three generations of us! Son was crying because he was a newborn, I was crying because I was overwhelmed by motherhood day 2 into the experience and Ma was crying because I was. I’ve never been the crying sort; maudlin sentimentality annoys me, having children changed that.

I’ve realised that I can be the strongest person around and be an emotional mess at the first sign of a troubled child. And I’ve learned that I have super-powers…everyone knows them as a mother`s intuition. I can find everything, I can do everything, I can see and feel everything that relates to my brats. Motherhood -  helping women become superheroes.

~ Aaisha Zafar Islam

Motherhood has changed me and my lifestyle in a profound way. My children have taught me selflessness, compassion, patience and how to grow in love. Over the years, I have also learned to become quite the counselor, story-teller and referee! Alhamdullilah, I feel blessed and privileged to be a mother and hope I can do justice to the most important role that I have been bestowed with.’

Iman Khan

I used to get freaked out by little hopping spiders. After becoming a mother I once single handedly wrestled a one foot centipede. I kid you not. Just the thought of that thing in the same house as my baby made me see red. I am now the crocodile hunter of the family.

I am also immune to every gross thing possible, I have cleaned so much vomit and poop nothing deters me. I have eaten saliva covered banana that my child lovingly fed me after gumming it to a pulp in her toothless mouth. I can catch vomit in a plastic bag with perfect precision.

Life hacks: 5 minute meals to 500 uses for baby powder to how to ignore a pack of howling, brawling, whining kids in public and keep a smile on your face.

Being grateful. Appreciating that the little things are actually the biggest things. Heartbreak and unconditional love.

Khaula Mazhar

I remember being a short tempered and ambitious person with no patience for kids. Motherhood has taught me patience as the most important virtue. It has taken my wings and has slowed me down to appreciate small blessings of life. It has proved that happiness is not in high-paying jobs and in globe-trotting but in simple moments spent with my kids, in sharing a joke, co-sleeping in the cozy bed, baking treats and in evening walks to the park. More than anything it has made me empathize with my mom and appreciate the hard work she put in in raising me and for instilling in me the life skills to bear challenges of life. She taught me how to stay positive in the bleak hours and how to keep believing in Allah. Inshallah I want to instill same positivity and admiration in my kids.

Mariam Mazhar

I could say that the same things everyone else says about how mother hood has changed them. However I want to tell you how it’s kept me the same. It allowed me to still see the world through the eyes of a child. It keeps me in awe of all that surrounds me because I see the same glimmer in my children’s eyes.  They look at everything with excitement and a new perspective.  As a person ages they naturally become more cynical but motherhood keeps you tied to your own childhood and you hope the world is as amazing for your children as it was for you. In a nutshell it keeps you young and optimistic.

As children grow up we teach them to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and as adults we tend to forget those words frequently. Well, being a mom has reminded me to make sure I thank Allah (SWT) for his countless blessings.  The children he gave me are the most precious gifts in the universe for which no thank you is going to be enough. Like a child who jumps with glee at the prospect of a new toy I am filled with joy when I get those precious kisses from my daughter, so motherhood has kept me grateful and thanking Allah and also pleading with him for their well being constantly in my duas.

I’ve been through many changes due to becoming a mom, but my core being is still the same if not stronger. I’m thankful to Allah and in awe of the miracle of life that surround me.

Muneezah Jawad

Physically:  I can NOT sneeze, laugh or run anymore without crossing my legs. My body will always be flabby and I love it as it reminds me of all that stretching I went through with each of my four kids.

Mentally: Even though I feel like I have nothing left up in my head, with each additional child I have gained more patience, while dealing with all the stresses of motherhood.

Spiritually:  As my kids are growing older, now more than ever I have a deep desire to grow closer to Allah.

Rahila Ovais

I had my 3rd child a few days back and as ecstatic I was to hold him, I was equally ambitious and made several promises to myself on giving him the best of everything as a mother.

Motherhood has taught me patience and values of morals, religion and above all a proper educated upbringing. I learned what greater responsibility it is to bring them up with knowledge and education so they make their own wisdom and lead strong successful lives Insha’Allah. Humility and humbleness is the most important attribute in one’s personality no matter what one may become in life, I want them to be grateful to Almighty and be kind. With them I learn, grow and mature every day. Because of them I’ve become closer to my Lord. Alhamdulilah!

~ Rumina Rizvi

 I do not live in a clean room anymore. I am not allowed to get sick. I yell at my kids .I fight with them over the remote control but not for anything in this Universe I want to change my status. Because sometimes when I plop on the couch, exhausted, I ask myself where is “me”. A voice tells me, they are” you”. I nod and get back to my job of being a mom.

Shazia Afzal

 It’s incredible, I have learned so much more about myself than I could have ever imagined. They teach me something new every day. When I had my daughters, I thought I was going to be the one teaching them and giving them so much knowledge, but they have been teaching me so much wisdom.

Being a mom is the most rewarding thing in the world.

Sukaina Imran

How has motherhood changed you? We’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions! Do share below.

The Man In My Life

By Shazia Afzal

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So he is the man in my life. My whole universe revolves around him.  He is late from work and I worry to death. All the bad news that I’ve ever seen on TV flash in my mind and I say every prayer that comes to my mind. I heave a sigh of relief when I hear his familiar footsteps at the doorstep.

There was a time when I thought I will never get married. I was a free spirit. I wanted to do something with my life. I had big dreams and I used to think that I would never sacrifice my dreams for marriage. Then he came and made me change my mind. No, it did not happen as it does in movies. I did not bump into a tall, dark and handsome stranger in the street who helped me pick up my stuff. No, no!

It just happened. He could make me laugh and that was it. This is not fair for us women! We have a tendency to like people who can make us laugh. It’s not us actually, it’s our hormones and other stupid chemicals in our body that make us fall in love with a man who can make us laugh and at the same time  make us completely oblivious to everything else that is part of the package.

So what was I telling you? Oh yes, that the man in my life is the love of my life and I completely freak out if he is late from work. But the moment he is home a little shift in the emotional drama occurs. He takes off his shoes and leaves them at the door, throws his socks on the floor and his coat on the couch. He opens the fridge door just out of habit, takes out the juice pitcher, empties it into his glass and to my utter shock puts the empty pitcher back in the fridge. The hormones that start running through my blood stream when he gets home are a bit different from the ones that were making those knots in my stomach or the ones that made me fall in love with him in the first place.

These are few of the things that drive me crazy. Let’s see if they drive you up the wall too.

Kill the guy who discovered tea?

Yes, I really want to! The sad part is that this guy is already dead depriving me the pleasure of killing him. Legend says it was a Chinese emperor who discovered it by accident. Now just imagine how easy our lives would be if there was no tea.

‘Make me a cup of tea!” Hearing this phrase countless times makes me grind my teeth. It could be a plea, a request, a demand or an order depending on my mood and his.

Most of the time I say, “In a minute” with a smile and punch the air in the kitchen before I put water in the teapot.

Laundry – the bane of my existence

Believe me I am a very cool minded person. My blood pressure is usually on the lower side, but an innocent question from the man in my life is enough to make my blood boil. ‘When will you do the laundry? It’s been days.

Even if I do it weekly or daily it is never enough. Even if I wash, iron and hang all his shirts and trousers in his closet like a perfect wife, he wants that one particular shirt that was left unwashed.

To shop or not to shop …with you!

Shopping with men –bad idea!   My man starts by laying out a battle plan. He starts with a list of things we ‘NEED’.  We go straight to the mall, shop from the first store picking up the first things that are on the first shelf and voila! Mission accomplished. Time to go home.

Man! That’s painful! Women are hard–wired to browse. In the prehistoric era, human beings lived like hunters and gatherers. Men hunted, so they went out with their batons, devised a strategy to kill and brought back a deer. Women on the other hand would go in the woodlands, walk for miles, going from bush to bush browsing and collecting the ripest berries.

So no matter how hard we try our collective unconscious tells us to browse and browse we shall.

Honey, Can you turn the T.V down?

Obviously he won’t reply because he cannot hear me. Why do men watch movies so loudly? This is a question that needs to be answered. I want my home to be calm, quiet and serene. On the other hand what I hear all the time is bullets being fired, cars crashing, buildings being blown up and police sirens wailing.

The list of  my pet peeves is extremely long without a doubt but sometimes when I am really annoyed, I close my eyes for a moment and imagine my life without him…I open my eyes, take a breath and scold myself.

He can watch the TV as loudly as he wants, he can criticize my long phone calls, and the soaps that I watch, he can ask me to make him tea as many times as he wishes, he can scream about the credit card bills or the lost pair of socks, I just want him to be safe and be always be there for me like a shady tree.

I am like an ordinary droplet of water. He is the Sun. Without him I am just a colorless droplet of water. But together we create rainbows.

Excuse me, I have to go and make some tea!

About the author:

Shazia Afzal is a happy-go-lucky person who enjoys little things in life. She grew up in Pakistan in a large family with a great sense of humour. She has a Master’s degree in English Literature and a Post- grad in Fundraising and Volunteer Management. She is currently working with an International development organization that works for social justice for children in developing countries. In her spare time she loves to – correction – she never has any spare time!

She lives in Mississauga with her tall, dark handsome husband, two lovely children and a pet bird named Buddy who flies around the house and loves pizza.

Eid Milan Lunch, Event Report

Eid Milan Lunch

Food, friends, fun and fabulous prizes, these were the by-words at the Eid Milan Lunch organized by MuslimMoms.ca on October 19, 2014.

The event was announced a month in advance and like all events and get-togethers organized by MuslimMoms.ca’s FB group, spots filled up fast. Last time was a halwa puri breakfast event and all guests had enjoyed it to the max. This time the fare was traditional desi again, at Karachi Kitchen’s Meadowvale location. Ladies, dressed in their finest Eid clothing started coming in at around 2 and soon the premises were full with just MuslimMoms.ca guests, so much so that the management had to turn away other dine-in customers after a while!

Prizes

As always, we also had some fabulous prizes to be given away through a raffle draw.

Hina Syed gave away a ‘Body  by Vi’ gift hamper to Samreen Sheikh.

Nazia Asad had sponsored two gifts, a lip gloss and a pack of multivitamins for kids. Shazia Kazmi and Asma Zaman walked away with these.

Khadija from Muslimahs United Conference had six event tickets to be given away. Maria Rashid, Arshia, Nazia Rizvi, Iqra Khalid, Nusaiba and Arshiya Golpani won these tickets.

Raaela had brought in a custom Eid Mubarak cake and it was won by Anees.

Tracy from She Canada had a one year subscription to the magazine to be given away, Aaisha Islam walked away with this prize.

And finally the piece de resistance: Uzma from Uzma’s Canvas Calligraphy had brought in her original calligraphy canvas for the raffle and Maha Taufeeq won this beautiful inscription.

Food, Friends and Photos

Iqra Khalid, a young Muslim woman from Mississauga also spoke at the event. She is seeking a Liberal Party nomination for the riding of Mississauga Erin Mills in the next federal elections.

The raffle and prizes distributed, food was laid out, a tempting array of Pakistani food: Biryani, Karahi, Chicken Tikka, Naans, Mixed Vegetables, chutneys, salad and kheer as the final sweet touch to the delicious food.

Before everyone walked away, we also conducted a quick group photo session, everyone had been clicking away pictures with their new friends, but we wanted everyone in the frame for our report!

Enjoy looking through our picture gallery for the event and watch out for more events in the coming months. A MuslimMoms.ca event is surely not to be missed!